Counting Down to 25

In less than a week, I will be celebrating my twenty-fifth birthday.

Ah yes, the big two-five. Even in this post-modern age, living to be a quarter-of-a-century in age can and should be considered a big accomplishment. Of course, making it this far in life does not come without its blunders and difficulties. Although, I do like to think that my victory laps greatly surpass my missteps.

Below is a list of twenty-five tokens of wisdom that I have collected over the years:

1 - There are responsibilities that come with being a woman. Traditionally, the woman has been the one left responsible for not only continuing the family line but also to educate her offspring. She keeps the house together and stands by her husband (or partner). Nowadays, however, a woman is also responsible for herself: her finances, her education, her aspirations. 

Also, if she is a feminist, it is her responsibility to speak up for other minorities in the midst of injustice.

2 - Every book makes a difference. Being a Literature major, I am understandably bias when it comes to the power of books. It is a proven fact, however, that reading expands a person's vocabulary as well as his/her knowledge-base. 

3 - Age does not guarantee maturity. I have met some mature teenagers, and I have met some immature adults. Age is but a number; whereas maturity is a cultivated lifestyle. 

4 - Mom and Dad are not always right . . . But then, sometimes, they are. One is never too old to seek and heed advice from one's parents. On occasion, we of the younger generation develop this mindset that anything our parents have to say is outdated and irrelevant to our lives. Such, however, is not always the case. The problems of today are nothing new to the world. Therefore, take into consideration any insight(s) that your parents may have to offer. 

5 - Lipstick and chocolate are survival essentials. In her purse, every woman should have at least one lipstick and a few pieces of chocolate. One can make you look like Elizabeth Taylor in a pinch; the other can either fix your mood or quiet your stomach.

6 - Some people are just cruel. Sadly, there is nothing that can be done about mean people. That is, except, try not to follow their example. At the end of the day, you are responsible for you and your (re)actions. 

7 - Interests and aspirations don't expire. Since I was a child, I can remember wanting to learn how to play the violin. Circumstances in life, however, prevented me from doing so until I was 24. And while I am still quite the novice, the feelings of accomplishment I get from playing are phenomenal. Therefore, don't deter from trying something; especially if you think that you are too old.

8 - Asking for help is not a crime. Seeking help from others is not an insult on your intelligence or skill. Try not to perceive it as such. 

9 - I am not my possessions. Living in a consumerist society, it is easy to fall into the mindset of "I want." However, owning a great deal of something -books, clothing, movies, cars -will not help you become a better person. A minimalist lifestyle is less cluttered, which means less stressful.

10 - Skydiving is a must. Personally, I am a woman who prefers to keep her feet -physically -on the ground. Earlier this year, however, my boyfriend's parents surprised me with an opportunity to go skydiving. Truthfully, I was scared to do it. Looking back on it now, I can still feel the butterflies fluttering in aggravation in my stomach. However, I would not have traded the experience -the fear, the worry, the adrenaline -for anything. Jumping from an airplane at 10,000 feet in the air certainly puts things in a different perspective. 

For a brief heartbeat in the timeline of the world, I was Superwoman.

11 - Profanity is overrated. Heaven knows there is a great deal of damning and f-bombing in movies these days. So much so that I feel quite privileged to have grown up with such classics as Singin' In the Rain (1952) and The Bride of Frankenstein (1935). However, not everyone was as blessed. Watching vulgar, modern movies and being around people who swear profusely can rub off onto you. 

Using profanity does not an adult make; it will not make people respect you more. Rather, the usage is a sour display of intelligence and maturity.

12 - Have a few cards up your sleeve. Always keep a deck of cards on hand. More importantly, though, know at least three games in which to play them with. (And no, solitaire does not count!)

13 - There is no need to conform. Dabble in different interests from your friends. Challenge ideas that are not your own. Pushing boundaries is as healthy as it is necessary (sometimes).

14 - It's enough to believe in something. From infancy, some of us are raised to be a form of Christian: Catholic, Baptist, Mormon, Lutheran, etcetera. However, some people learn over time that they do not belong in a cookie-cutter religion. Therefore, go out and explore. Become a buddhist, or a pagan. My request: just find something to believe in. 

15 - Alone does not mean lonely. Human are social creatures. Some people are so sociable, in fact, that it is unnerving for them to be alone. Being in seclusion from other people, however, is not always a bad thing. From experience, the act of being alone can often be education -as I learn more about myself and what I like. Don't be afraid to treat yourself to a nice table for one at your favorite restaurant; or to take yourself out to a movie on occasion. 

16 - Grudges are poisonous. There is a saying: 'Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.' Heed these words, for they are the truth.

17 - Be self-sufficient and self-reliant. You’re the only one responsible for taking care of your wants and needs. Having and maintaining your own source of income can do wonders for a person's confidence and freedom. Learn how to take care of yourself, physically and psychologically. 

18 - Have a little black dress. For years, my wardrobe primarily consisted of blue jeans and graphic t-shirts. Having at least one dress in my closet, however, has come through for me multiple times in the wake of a dinner date or special occasion. Moral of the story: you allow yourself to have at least one piece of an adult wardrobe, invest in a little black dress. Everything else will find its way into your closet in time.

19 - Food from the stove tastes better. In other words, learn how to cook. Forsake the ramen noodles and microwavable macaroni; or even a burrito from the local fast food place. Learn how to make such things as soup -using real broth and fresh vegetables -and spaghetti. Start small and work your way up.

20 - Be open. Learn to stand up for yourself when you need to. Don't be afraid to tell people, or yourself, what you want.

21 - There is no 'them.' There is no Big Brother or Big Sister watching and waiting for you to mess up. There is no one out there for you to compete with, no matter what society would have you believe. Why put that kind of pressure on yourself? Do your thing and the world will do its. End of story.

22 - Friends come and go. Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay. If someone leaves, don't be offended. As we say in Texas, just pick up your bootstraps and carry on.

23 - When in doubt, go with your gut. Sometimes, logic simply fails. In such cases, go with what feels right and natural. As mentioned before, only you know what is best for you. And only you will have to face the consequences -just in case everything doesn't go right.


24 - Be your own definition of a 'Real Woman.' In the Victoria Era, there arose an ideology best known as the 'Cult of True Womanhood.' In essence, a true woman was meant to be submissive to her husband in all things. This idea transitioned through the years and is perfectly depicted in such 1950s sitcoms such as Leave It to Beaver and The Donna Reid Show. Today, however, the definition of a real woman is flexible. We modern American females have the luxury of choosing to be whatever we want to be; whether that is a housewife, a doctor, a librarian, or a CEO. We get to decide who and if we want to marry, and if we want children. The gender role you inhabit is yours to define.


But most important of all is this:


25 - It's okay not to have everything figured out. You and I can worry about that in our next twenty-five years.